21 Comments

when is love not enough?

My entire life has been built on love.

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But at what point is love not enough anymore?  I recently had this discussion with a friend of mine who is in the process of questioning her own relationship- which in turn caused me to reevaluate the past thirty years of my existence.

I suppose I’ve been very fortunate.  I grew up with two parents who love each other and are each other’s best friend, and grandparents who were still in the “newly wed” stage after 50 years of marriage. My family is still very close, and we all go to Mom’s house every Sunday for dinner and to talk about our week.

My grandparents came over from Italy with nothing.  My grandfather traveled ahead of my grandmother, established income, and slowly built a life for his family.  He then sent for my grandmother.  As poor immigrants, they had nothing for the next 20 years except love for each other and love for their family. They lead simple and rich lives, and I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a love so strong.

As they got older and their five kids slowly got married and moved out, they were able to live a little more comfortably- never in excess. There was no need for that. In their minds, they had everything.  Every Sunday they would have all the children and grandchildren over for breakfast, it was the highlight of their week.  I would often see my grandparents out during the week, either at the movie theater, or at their favorite restaurant- sitting on the same side of the booth, holding hands while they ate.   My grandfather would randomly kiss my grandmother in public, or ask the waitress how beautiful she thought his wife was; he absolutely adored her.

Later, my grandmother developed dementia, and my grandfather took care of her, refusing to leave her side.  Like something out of The Notebook, he would post old pictures all over the house and tell her stories of the memories they shared together, now long forgotten.  At one point my grandfather was diagnosed with terminal cancer, but refused to be treated or tell anyone because being in the hospital meant being away from his love- to him, love was more important than death.  He suffered so that my grandmother would be more comfortable and died sleeping next to her.

After his passing, we had found a journal he kept in his room.  All letters to my grandmother. Here’s an excerpt from one entry:

“Dear Mary:

I wish I could tell you that I am sick, but I can’t put you through this. Please forgive me. I love you so much. I will never find the words to convey that properly….”

Here is an example of two people who were madly in love, didn’t have much, and refused to leave each other’s side. What scares me is that I don’t see much of this anywhere today.  Where is the passion for one another? Why are we so afraid to be head over heels (hells)  for another person?

I would happily trade all my possessions for one true love.  When you think that way, the rest of the pieces will fall in to place.

Make love a priority.

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21 comments on “when is love not enough?

  1. That is the sweetest love story. Really makes you look and apprecoatebthe love that you have, cause you never know when life is gonna throw a curveball.

    • Thanks! I really use it to guage love. Can I see myself giving up everything for this person? When we’re old, will I still feel completely lucky to wake up next to her in the morning. I can only hope to some day answer these “yes”.

  2. Thank you for sharing this. This is exactly what I needed. I frequently ask myself, if love IS enough. This story reminded me that sometimes, it is 🙂

    • Kumusta! Glad you enjoyed it and I’ll be even happier if it helps you in the future. The purpose of this whole blog is to remind people (and myself) that the passion in love and romance has not completely disappeared.
      If you look closely you can see examples of it everywhere. To quote one of my favorite movies of all time “Love is, actually, all around us”. Best of luck to you and thank you for reading. Your comment brings a smile to my face.

  3. Amazing love story. Your grandparents are the type that movies should be made about.

  4. beside God, love is the most important ingrediant.

  5. Slowly this story will embed itself into my subconscious. My future self is already thanking you for keeping a glimmer of hope.

  6. It’s very nice to see love from a male perspective. I have had the luxury of growing up in a family where my parents have stuck by each others side HAPPILY for 30 years. As there is a generation shift, those core values you grew up with start to be challenged. I still have hope nonetheless.

    • I agree completely! Seeing the way some of the men these days treat women disgusts me. I suppose this is my way of saying “Hey wait, I’m not like them.” Thank you for reading!

  7. Beautiful story…. may you have all the love you dream of!

  8. Love is all there is, really. The act of being vulnerable with your heart open is extremely scary, but extremely telling and honest.

  9. Beautiful story!
    Your family is the envy of dysfunctional families in every race and culture. We all want exactly what your family has, but we do not know how to make it happen and we will not admit it and ask for help.That special person you seek is out there, and I’m out to help you find them. LOL

    Check me out!
    http://www.blogtalkradio.com/nonangrychocolatechick
    Tune in, Call in
    10:00pm – 12:00pm Every Night except Tuesday 11:30pm -1:30am

  10. Love is always enough. Yeah, It is more than enough. Love takes us to a higher vibration and makes it possible to do and be more than we ever thought possible. You can give love and send love, even to those you don’t like or trust.

    It is wonderful that you have gained such inspiration from the love that was shared by your grandparents. Your family has been blessed by the strong foundation they built and the wonderful example that they lived. May you carry on from there.

    Never question love, true love will never let you down. People may fail but love never will.

    Juju

  11. Oh my! Your family’s story is nothing short of amazing. I love, love, love this write-up. It highlights the truth that love isn’t that superficial stuff the world is selling. It is deep and requires commitment. Loving right is rewarding. You must be proud of your wonderful love heritage. I pray you leave an even greater example of loving right for your children. Go get your true love!

  12. Nice site. Good post. Thank you for sharing. And I appreciate that you cheked out my blog. billyeats.com

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