don’t wait to resolve issues

I know you won’t admit it.


I also know you’ve been thinking about her all day and it’s killing you, but you’re both stuck at work and nothing can be done until tonight.

I’ve been there all too often.  In fact, sometimes I’m there when I don’t even have to be because I have a tendency to over-analyze EVERYTHING.

This is why I try my hardest to implement a rule in every relationship that no one sleeps until all issues of the day are resolved- furthermore, no one sleeps alone.  That means, husbands should always share beds with their wives, and wives shouldn’t ever banish their husbands to the couch.  This is about dealing with relationship issues together, as a couple, and as a team.

You’ve just had a fight over finances.  She thinks you spend too much on your daily lunch at work, while you think she spends too much on internet shopping.  You have a big blow out over dinner, and the issue isn’t resolved by bed time.  You go to work the next day exhausted from the fighting, and you only caught a few hours of sleep on the couch.  All day long you let the situation fester inside of you and you can’t take it anymore.  You go home and explode like a volcano, unleashing complete hell on your wife and family.  The fighting rages on for the next three days.  What have you accomplished?

Relationships are rarely perfect.  They take work, and patience. The truth is, issues will arise, and if you’re not willing to confront those issues with sincerity, tact, and a sense of urgency, your relationship and family could suffer.  Before you let things get out of hand, ask yourself these questions:

What am I trying to accomplish?  Is it realistic?  Is it obtainable?  What is the timeframe I’m shooting for?  Is it in the best interest of our family, or just myself?

And geeez!  Sit down with your wife and figure this all out before bed.  No one sleeps until we come to an agreement!  That being said, compromise.  Sometimes you have to give in a little.  It’s okay.  That’s why they’re your partner, you can trust them.  You may still go to bed a little irritated, but by the morning, you’ll both be much more inclined to discuss each other’s ideas.

This is love.  This is what it means to be in a relationship.  Be selfless.  Be a man.

12 comments on “don’t wait to resolve issues

  1. I very much agree. It had to be said and it’s so important to recognize!! Thank you.

  2. Well said! I think he hates it, but we never (or very very rarely) go to bed without something resolved, and if we do- we still sleep next to each other and have an understanding that when we wake up we will be talking about it again.

  3. We do our very best to ‘come from a position of love’. John and I had a major ‘discussion’ the other day. We held each others hand, we listened, we talked (never shouting), we kept talking about it until we both felt good (and can I say, we listened again). We are closer than ever!!
    Most disagreements come from fear…as ours did. We helped each other relieve the fear …
    We had a disagreement one night and we didn’t get it resolved before bed, but that didn’t stop us from holding each other close all night long. It seems that even when our emotions and minds get all befuddled…our bodies still recognize the other as the person we are truly in love with. It’s hard to wake up mad then 🙂

  4. I completely agree that fear is usually at the root of all arguments between couples. You also hit another good point. Listening. Communication is maybe the most important attribute you can bring to a relationship. Without it, most struggle. That makes me want to be a part of your relationship. er…in a very not creepy way. haha!

  5. Sabatino,

    I love the tone of your advice and your blog in so artistic. Very nice.

    • Aw man, thank you so much! I think love and art are definitely intertwined. Both are outlets for the inner heart, so I take that as a huge compliment! Thank you, again.

  6. Reblogged this on egosentrik and commented:
    Love is about understanding, caring about each other’s feelings and the best way to avoid bitterness in a relationship/marriage is to quickly resolve issues and not allow it linger…nice one

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