defining unconditional love

“To give and not expect return that is what lies at the heart of love.”

– Oscar Wilde


I’ve talked about it a lot, but what exactly is unconditional love?

Merriam-Webster defines unconditional love as “love without limits”.  That’s a little vague for me, but here’s what I know.

When we have children, we provide everything to them before providing for ourselves. Sure, they’ll test our patience, and at times make us upset, but that doesn’t mean we stop loving them.  Ergo, our love for them is indeed unconditional- it’s without limits.

The same argument could be made for pets.  I have a cat named Ernest Hemingway (check my Instagram for pictures) who I adore.  Sometimes I am late getting home from work to feed him and sometimes I have to discipline him for scratching at the furniture, but every night without fail he curls up next to me and goes to sleep.  It doesn’t matter what happens in our day, he has an unconditional love for me regardless.

So why is it that we have such a hard time showing that same love without limits to our significant others?  Yes.  Sometimes you’re going to get angry or disappointed with your wife or husband, but should that be the end of your relationship?  Are we that upset over a particular issue that we’re ready to give up entirely?  A small problem is much more likely to end your relationship before it ends your life.  Fix it and move on, or allow it to destroy you.  If you’re allowing it to control your love, then I’m afraid you have rocks in your head.

I’ve seen far too many men force their loved ones away because they can’t see past themselves and their own agendas.  Put yourself in her shoes, and ask yourself if this is something worth losing her over- because I can promise if you’re not willing to die for her, there’s always someone else who will.

9 comments on “defining unconditional love

  1. nice post, as usual Sabatino.
    Our motto is: Don’t fight over anything you’re not going to get a divorce over!

    • I agree. We forget to see the big picture sometimes. Like, seriously. Does it really matter? Is this something you’re so unwilling to compromise on that you’re ready to lose your love. Don’t push them away.

  2. Not just the men who have a hard time with showing unconditional love! We gals can really make ‘love’ conditional to the extreme. I love the post – a call to ‘unarm’ our hearts 🙂

  3. I hope you encounter a different kind of commitment expressed on my blog—I’ve got my Lord and my wife (in that order) to thank for it…and my Mother, of course! Thank you for beginning to follow BY THE MIGHTY MUMFORD!

  4. The author of unconditional love is God and if you do not know Him or not known by him you can never know that kind of Love. I wish I had a cat like yours. I want him so much to curl up in bed with every night. However his love is a selfish love.

  5. I think that fighting is fine..and indeed healthy, and to be able to have differing views that have space and safety to be able to be expressed..to me that is unconditional love. Its an acceptance of all of our differences.

  6. Nice post! Yes, fighting is healthy. It seems that the prevailing attitude towards relationships is that, if it gets too hard, “it’s just not worth it anymore”. Which is kind of sad, because no relationship can withstand that test. A relationship is more than something you slip into, it’s more than having a crush. It is a choice, and sometimes it doesn’t seem like it was ever the right one. But you have to keep on trucking :p

  7. Thank you for sharing some thought-provoking ideas. 🙂
    When I entered into a committed relationship (marriage), I knew I was taking a chance because we both have to wake up each morning and make a conscious decision to love each other…come what may. Thankfully, we have both continued making that decision each day for many years now. I feel very blessed.

  8. Nice Post! Unconditional love to me is loving the other person faults and all. Understanding that no one is perfect and if you think that they are you are only fooling yourself. The higer the expectations the more you will be disappointed. Once you relaise we are all human and we all make mistakes the better off we will all be. The more able we to accept and appreciate the other for who they are and not for who we want them to be.

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